Part of the beauty of Intuitive Eating is that I no longer spend any time gulping, slurping, or shoving down foods (or drink) that I don’t enjoy. And in the spirit of transparency, allow me to introduce you to some “healthy” items that I kinda sorta hate, many of which ironically enough I used to pretend I loved.
Some Healthy Products I Sort of Hate
1). Green Juice
I see you in your trendy glass bottle and I so wish I was cool enough to carry you around the farmers market. Heck even the plastic Naked juice bottles are kind of chic. But alas, we’re never going to be homies. Because you taste like grass. #sorrynotsorry
2). Quest Bars
Unlike the green juice, your trendiness ain’t pulling me in even a little bit, Quest Bars. The terrible gas, horrible bloating are just a few of the reasons why I don’t eat Quest Bars anymore and I’m not going back. Chunk porn or no chunk porn, you won’t find this chica “cheating clean”.
3). Walden Farms
Yo, I used to be one of those people that poured this sh** on everything. My puny protein pancakes, my sweet potatoes, even my dang eggs. Now when I see it mentioned on IG I kind of have to stifle a gag. Ever wonder how the heck a sweet syrup can possibly be 0 calories? Yeah it’s because it’s overflowing with artificial and chemically unstable ingredients. If you’re confused as to why your stomach currently hates you, chances are it’s the Walden Farms.
That last one was 100% unnatural. This one is actually real healthy not marketed healthy, but I still can’t stand it. I ate it briefly during my time as a Hooters girl because it was basically all we got for free, but quickly said sayonara to it as soon as I quit. I know celery is supposed to burn calories or whatever but I can’t stand the stringiness. Gimme some carrots instead. Or like, fries.
5). Whey Protein
Okay so I low key miss mugcakes sometimes. It’s one of the few “diet-y” foods I actually enjoyed if only because popping one in the microwave was so easy and hassle free as opposed to baking a regular cake. But then I remember all the reasons why I don’t use protein powders like the embarassing tummy rumbles and once again, gas, and the expensive cost per tub.
6). Skinny Tea
Funny story, the Skinny Teatox company actually emailed me offering a box of their skinny tea for free provided that I promote it once or twice on my Instagram. I emailed back declining politely but instead of leaving it be, they continued to email me to the point of harassment asking what kind of tea I wanted and when I would be posting about them. Finally I let them have it. I told them I think their company promotes diet culture, food shaming, and unhealthy weight loss and I would never be giving them the Healthyezsweet Life seal of approval. BYE FELICIA.
7). Miracle Noodles
What’s the miracle tho?? The fact that my spaghetti is now bland AF with no texture?? I think I’m going to skip on that one if you don’t mind. Check pleeeeease.
Or any powdered peanut butter for that matter. To be perfectly honest, I have this theory that fit chicks love peanut butter so much because their bodies are deprived of fats so every spoonful feels like a mouthgasm after a dry spell. Maybe not. But it’s how it felt for this fit chick. And actually about a year into recovery I realize I rarely crave peanut butter?? When I have it it’s good but not like the amazing obsession I used to feel?? Since I feel that way about actual peanut butter you can imagine the powdery stuff with the fat sucked out holds little interest for me.
9). Pre-workout Supplements
I’ve only taken it a few times and each time it’s made me feel itchy, sweaty, and like I needed to crawl out of my skin. Call me old fashioned, but a banana and/or some toast is a fine pre-workout for me. Gets the job done without all the needles and knee bouncing.
10). Anything Labeled Sugar Free / Diet
I’ve said it in countless other posts, but I’ll say it again. Zero. Calorie. Sweeteners. F***. Up. Your. Stomach. Maybe not right away, but definitely over time. Mine did get messed up pretty quick, and when my doctor suggested eliminating all artificial sweeteners could provide relief, I literally laughed in her face. But then I cut it all out. Cold turkey. And it’s one of the smartest things I’ve ever done. I swear to you if you break your dependence on these things you’ll feel so much better. And just to illustrate how potent these chemicals are, it’s worth mentioning that after over a year without the stuff, I ate one little package of sugar free pudding the other night (it was on sale $3 cheaper than the regular, so I figured what the hell?) and it made me bloated, gassy, and in moderate abdominal pain for almost 2 full days. It happened that quick. That drastic. Never again.
I want to thank Peanut Butter is My Boyfriend for coming up with the “healthy foods I hate” idea and inspiring me to share mine!
Now tell me,
What are some “healthy” foods that just don’t do it for you?
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