I’m all for spreading positivity here at Healthyezsweet Life, but I have to be true to my post on not letting only good vibes stay, and talk about something sorta crappy. And that’s the fact that several years after feeling secure in my recovery, I’m still having to explain myself. And to be perfectly honest – I hate it.
What I’m Still Explaining
For those of you who don’t know, I was diagnosed with Celiac disease a little over a year ago. And for those of you who don’t know what Celiac disease is (and trust me you’re not alone), it’s an autoimmune disease where one can’t digest gluten. Celiac disease is different than a gluten allergy or sensitivity because consuming it (even in small doses such as cross contamination) causes deterioration of the stomach lining not just discomfort or physical symptoms. Since being diagnosed, my life has had to change. A day in the life with Celiac disease can be incredibly frustrating, but the explaining is probably the worst.
I wish I was better about this. I’m working hard towards being unapologetic about my situation because it’s so clearly not my fault. But the problem is, that most people think that going gluten free is a choice I’m making. As if choosing to stay away from gluten so that I don’t develop infertility, osteoporosis, or even cancer – is really a choice at all. But still I explain myself away. And I apologize. I apologize for asking so many questions about the ingredients at a restaurant. I apologize for asking the person preparing my food to change his or her gloves. I justify my inconvenience and make sure they know that I’m not just on some diet.
I’d like to blame the hype. It would be easy to say that celebrities ruined everything for us Celiacs with their fad, gluten free diets. But the truth is, it’s not their fault that I feel this way. Maybe the media and celebrities are to blame for going gluten free becoming popular. And they probably have something to do with people doubting me when I say that gluten will actually make me sick. But the hesitation and shame I feel in asking for what I need? That’s on me. Having the confidence to stand tall and ask for what you need is a choice, and it’s one I need to commit myself to.
If you find yourself constantly explaining yourself and making excuses for your choices, likes, or dislikes, you’re not alone. But you don’t have to do it anymore. Give yourself permission to stop explaining, be unapologetic, and stand tall.
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